Silly Astronomers, You Can Find The Same Atmosphere In My Living Room

I would like to apologize for the unexpected hiatus as my last entry left my loyal readers with several unanswered questions like “Hey Bobby where’s the money you owe, bitch!” and “What is the most effective to donate sperm from jail?”. First I’ll explain where I have been, as many of you know I have a working relationship with the U.S. justice department and every so often when they deem fit I am cloistered away to one of their many facilities in order to continue my research on subjects like “not smoking crack for months at a time” and “Shank durability tests”. Though my contact with the outside world is limited during these periods (unless you have an extraordinarily large rectal cavity, which is what I have been avoiding) I did run across this.

It is as I have feared, the field of astronomy has become lethargic in my absence. An atmosphere of gaseous rock? I’m sorry astronomers but even Whitney has seen this before even through her most blackened of eyes. This atmosphere is no interstellar oddity I have myself isolated such an atmosphere within the confines of my own apartment! Despite complaints from the neighbors! I have also done extensive research on its effects on the human body as well! I have dubbed it not only safe to breath but quite invigorating! Though I have been forbidden from future experiments in this area in the U.S. I believe Portugal may allow me to continue my research. I have been deemed too valuable a scientist by the U.S. to leave for now in fact it has been requested that I do not leave my apartment and wear a special ankle bracelet. Until my parole… I mean my “government contract” is up I may have to continue my research in fields such as “getting high and running naked through Baby Gap” secret. Namaste!