Can The Large Hadron Collider Help Keep My Ass Out Of Jail?

I know it's several months away but I'm as giddy a particle physicist when it comes to the reboot of the Large Hadron Collider! Hopefully we'll be able to answer the grand queries of the universe such as "How was the big bang triggered" or "Is there really a Higgs Boson particle?". Of course I have a much more personal and pressing question.... Can the Large Hadron Collider keep my ass out of jail?

Allow me to elaborate on this hypothesis. See one of the major rumors going around is that we may be able to unlock the key to time travel. Now with the ability to travel back in time I could go back in time and un-assault Whitney therefore averting my most recent arrest. Hell, I could even un-illegalize crack or travel to the future when my sentence is over, fifty years in fifty seconds!

Hopefully this will further my research into particle freebase.... I mean particle physics. One such experiment I have planned involves smashing the particles of low grade crack cocaine together at such a speed that the strong sub atomic particles are separated from the weak ones leaving only the essence of crack. Once I have created this “super crack” I will use a version of heated atomic fusion involving a lighter and a specialized section of glass tubing. Of course my fusion method could use a bit more work........

I've Finally Done It! Behold The Future Of Robotics!

After months of hard research and collaboration with the advanced robotics community I've finally successfully completed a self aware (well sort of self aware) humanoid robot. I would like to unveil the world's first crack smoking robot!

See the Crackbot charges his fuel cells with the carcinogens and cracky goodness found in crack cocaine, a substance that is readily available in the harsh environment known as my garage. It's literally the di-lithium crystal of the ghetto. Along with parts form several "borrowed" televisions, an 8 track player, and a Bananarama tape these fuel cells make up the latest in robotics technology.

Unfortunately I have run into several bugs but I'm sure through time they'll sort themselves out. I seem to have run into what I believe is a programming error that causes the Crackbot to feloniously abscond with consumer electronics (TV's, car stereos, etc..) when it's fuel cells become depleted. Also the fuel supply in my garage is getting low as I must constantly test the purity of it... in the name of science.. and beakers and stuff. Allow me to show you (Bobby Inhales) WHeeeeeeew this shit is pure for the robot... and the Bobby Brown science doin man. Yo this robot be crazy he's like up on my shit and his grill keeps gett'n broke up yo. Yo like my boy D-Ice needs to roll by with some more of that fuel cell stuff. D-Ice! I needs more rock! Yo robot fetch this motherfucker some more rock! I'm king of this garage cause yoo gotta do what I say yo. It's like "Luke I'm your father" and shit, robot. Yeah that's right.......



The Bobby Brown Tech Blog is meant as parody and Bobby Brown is in no way involved with this purely fictional. All allegations made by this blog especially claims including the insinuation drug use or the practice of science by Bobby Brown are untrue and meant for entertainment only. The Bobby Brown Tech Blog and it's contents are the copyrighted material of Do It Yourself Anarchy Productions and it's creator/owner and may not be reproduced without express permission (which you'll probably get if you simply ask). All Rights Reserved 5/21/2000