In recent times a lot has been made about achieving one's goals before death. While I'm pretty sure I'll never die unlike that rip off artist Michael Jackson the notion of leading a more achievement based existence intrigues this biologically longamonious scientist. I will be the first to admit that in past I've had quite the exigence with achieving list based goals (12 steps, parole requirements). So the other evening (actually it might have been a week ago, time tends to well... disappear for me.) I was relaxing and decided to compile such a list. Now I have trouble recalling my exact intent on many of the entries I will post them all for posterity in hopes they may trigger my mental constitution to reconstitute.
Pee on micheal jackson’s grave, mother fucker’s been ripp’n me off since before I was born.
Have a real bar mitzvah, I know I’m not Jewish, I just want the Jews to put me in a chair and lift me up over their heads.
Convince them to rename all the Martin Luther King Jr. blvd’s “Bobby Brown Blvd”, same with all streets named “Main st.”
Beat up a dolphin, smug fuckers.
Try crack cocaine. …. Just fuck’n with you guys, I’m high as fuck on this delicious shit right now!
Set Whitney’s Mansion on fire… on purpose, for a third time.
Adopt some underprivileged kids.. and make them fight each other.
Invent peel and eat shrimp, also put my cock in the cocktail sauce.
Cryogenically freeze my head
Have a family sitcom where I play a Bill Cosby like dad who gives really bad advice while high. (actually tried this before but nobody wants to ask you for advice and call you “dad” when they’re tied up and being robbed)
Change my name to Theo Huxtable and go on welfare.
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