But Can Stem Cells Un-Blacken Whitney's Eye?

I know the medical world is all a buzz about stem cells nowadays but how realistic are they as an ongoing treatment? Now you all know my more bruised half Whitney, she often suffers from a chronic black eye (the only things that are known to trigger it are sass back and me blacking out and not remembering what I did or didn't do). Can stem cells really cure her of her black eye before the police get here? Like could I say hold her down and inject the bruised area with stem cells and 5 minutes later it's back to coke circles?

The biggest controversy about stem cells is their procurement, like does 7/11 sell them you know? From what I understand stem cells can be procured from embryonic fluid which I believe is the name of a rap group. I also heard from my boy on the street that you can "create stem cells from normal cells by using a novel method of wrapping to reprogram adult cells via electroporation" but he smokes more crack than me so I wouldn't trust his gossip, yo.

Well until stem cells are more readily available I'll just have to go back to my method of black symmetry so it appears her eyes always look black like that.