Silly Ichthyologists: I Could’ve Told You That Invisible Sharks Were Out To Steal Your VCR

It appears that ichthyologists are once again swimming away with the research of Professor Bobby Brown. They are yet again stating a theory of mine that was widely published via the scientific journal “Twitter” as their own. “Bobby Brown’s Theory of muther fuck’n invisible sharks everywhere try’n to steal my VCR” published to Twitter in 2008 consisted of the streamlined observation that “Halp! invisbul sharx try’n to jack Bobby’s VCR” the main stream marine biologists ignored my theory acting like porpoise assholes (pompous man fish). They said I was “severely intoxicated on illicit substances” and was “hundreds of miles from anywhere sharks could live”. Recently I stumbled upon this article indeed confirming my theory that invisible sharks are everywhere and want my VCR.

You have to wonder what sort of discipline it takes to become a “marine biologist”. I watched myself eat a whole plate of fried clams once does that make me a marine biologist? Maybe they all just look down on Professor Bobby Brown because they never got kicked out the aquarium for mooning a rare sea turtle and leaving brown smudges on the glass, well I guess that’s their prerogative. Not as good as my prerogative..... Ichthyologists are by far the worst though. Who thought you could get such a high and mighty attitude just because you spend your time running around and sharking? Anyway good ol’Bobby Brown has a new DVD player that he has to protect from quantum sea sponges and its rightful owner.... Ssssssshhhhh! Quiet I think see one next to the dish detergent on my kitchen sink, better go get the C-4 I stole from DARPA.